How many tears can I shed?…All of them if I must.


SparkyMy Sparky,

Nearly 10 years ago my wife brought me a little puppy, No papers, no cost, I only had to promise to love him and care for him till death do us part. I did, and I do still. He is a Chihuahua / Jack Russell mix. The first few months he was just a Dog like any other Dog. As the weeks and months flew by, he made me realize he was not just an ordinary canine…He was special. And the reason he was special was because my wife whom I love and adore brought him to me even after I had said no pets. and he could talk. So…I accepted the responsibility to give unconditional love to another living creature. And I asked her if she would be able to accept that…being we were married all legal like and such. She said yes, you need a friend and he will give you back what you give him tenfold…She was WRONG.

It was not ten fold, it was 100 fold. And the Spark was born, after a couple of years we were best buds, It was all I could do to keep him out of the fridge, (do not train your Canine companion to open the fridge and get your beverage) the wife asked could she too have a friend that would give her what the spark had given to me, and I asked was she sure she was willing to give up her life for that life till death do us all part…She said yes.

After weeks and weeks of exhaustive searches, she decided on a pure bred Chihuahua (Molly), (with papers) (female)…did I mention the Sparkster was a male, He is a male. Since I would not agree to cutting the Sparks genitalia we kept them separated, No…I do not believe in a cage. So I had to install custom built Doggy doors throughout the house,. its all good

SparkyAll went well till one day the Wife forgot to close the gate before she went to work, Do you want to guess what happened? Ok, no mystery there…

Three Puppies were Literally dropped in my lap by a 6 pound Chihuahua, They were kind of unexpected, however how could I not promise to love them as I had their Mom and Dad, Unfortunately the first one thru did not make it, (Chihuahuas sometimes need help with delivery) at the very least they need mountains of Love and encouragement. So that brings Boo and Lucy in to the family.

Now four canines living in our house, No Cages, No collars, No limits on where they are allowed, (My bed at night time) 18 months pass and…oops…we did it again, This time I gave away Two on the same conditions as I was given and kept one. Family of five is born.

Sparky, (Dad) Molly (Mom) Lucy (the oldest child) Booboo (The middle child) and Buster (2nd generation, BABY)

3-puppiesTen years have passed since that first faithful day, We are all still together, fat and Happy till Friday morning…I took the Spark to the Vet because he had been losing weight, and I noticed one of his eyes was a little foggy (he was fat, I overfed him, I put him on a diet…it was not that good of a diet though, Steak and Shrimp. he lost 15 pounds in 45 days, (did I mention he was overweight do to all the Spaghetti and meatballs, and steak and shrimp and chicken and turkey and blah blah blah I cook for him, cause he loves my cookin)

Well yesterday (Monday evening) I picked him up from the Vet, after being in the hospital for three days, and being on an IV for 2 of those days, I was expecting all to be okay. NOPE…he has Diabetes…Okay, Insulin, Pills, Dietary restrictions…trips to the vet, No problem whatever Sparky needs, Sparky gets… NOPE … Get ready for this.

Tuesday Morning, you get up at five AM, prepare to start the Spark on his new lifestyle, Feed him, give him his shot, and go on about your day…NOPE…He gets up, walks to the kitchen and stands in front of the custom built Doggy Door that you have not locked for seven years, And he cannot see it…You call his name…he turns to the sound of your voice and you see that he cannot see you…HE IS BLIND…Overnight.

If you are reading this, then you may already know what comes next.

A 54 year old man sitting on the floor of his kitchen, with his buddy in his lap crying like a four year old child who had just fell out of a tree. Because it just sank in, I DID THIS with my STUPIDITY and ARROGENCE, I fed him everything I liked, NOT what was good for him, until it was too late. If the starving children in China knew what Sparky was eating…Well let’s just say this….STOP….LOVING THEM TO DEATH, or Blindness,

I am, I was, WRONG…DO NOT FEED Canines PEOPLE FOOD….wait…Processed people food…there is a difference. if you are reading this it may be too late, if it is not too late and your friend is not in trouble, Educate yourself on Canine Dietary needs, I thought I did, Apparently I am too arrogant to think it applied to me and the Spark.

SparkyI am however not to Arrogant to tell you I have been Whaling like a juvenile for 2 days straight every time I look in my buddies eyes and I see those cataracts and I know he is blind now because of me and my stupidity, Try and live with that…if you are normal.

I cannot, I am having trouble, This has helped…a little, I am new to this website, I am not new to the Web or loving the Sparky. I will be back in a few days. My heart is breaking by the minute, fortunately I have read other stories by others with the same Love as me and I am inspired by their stories, So please tell your story, I need and want to hear it and you need to tell it,

My eyes feel like sandpaper, I don’t care, My Sparky is blind…and that is my fault, and is not acceptable.

One last stupid comment word of mine,

If you love them with all your heart even with conditions (you know…collars, cages, blah blah animal stuff), They love you back UNCONDITIONALLY FOR EVER AND ALWAYS…WANNA BET?

Let me say Publically to the Lord and everyone else listening, I am an idiot, But I love my Sparky with no conditions…same as he loves me, and as a result, he has diabetes and is blind now…Someone please kill me. because I am a piece of feces.

One thought on “How many tears can I shed?…All of them if I must.

  1. You’re being pretty hard on yourself, Dave. You clearly love Sparky and who’s to say he wouldn’t have gone blind from something else even if he hadn’t had diabetes? Overfeeding of pets from love isn’t unusual, although it isn’t any more healthy for them than it is for us. Mine was an overstuffed footstool when I adopted her, overfed with a particularly poor dog food by her prior owner, and I have friends who’ve had the same experience with adopted dogs. Still, you love Sparky, he loves you, and that will not change just because he’s blind. One of my friends recently said she was surprised I didn’t euthanize my dog when she went blind. But Sadie’s family and you don’t put family down because they go blind, or develop Parkinson’s, or just plain get old. And now you know to resist those pleading eyes when they want something from your plate! It’s hard, I know. Anyway, you’ll do right by Sparky and any other dogs you have in your life.

    I don’t know where you live, but I hope you will think about neutering your male dogs and/or spaying your female dogs. In California, our animal shelters are so stuffed with Chihuahuas and Chi-mixes that we actually airlift them to other parts of the country where they don’t have enough small dogs to meet the demand. Otherwise, many more would be euthanized than is the case, although a lot are destroyed anyway. It’s a sad thing to have to do to such sweet little creatures, and that really is the fault of all of us.

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